Over my head...

Don't worry, I am still going to Tokyo Thursday...

I was freaking out in the car this morning. What the hell? I'm leaving the country this week! This ain't supposed to happen, this was only supposed to happen in the future, not now! The whole me-going-to-Japan thing was only an idea, an idea designed to get some attention, people to love me, and perhaps a few parties in my name! I mean, I'm not actually supposed to go, am I?

It was also hard when we were all at the table and someone thought Tracy was crying. And then she actually started crying. And then I started crying. And then Tita Le started crying.

I feel like crying now.

It's because of such that I can't talk about my leaving for too long: it upsets me and those around me. I can't live in the future because there is so little present left.